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Twelve Days of Christmas : Day Four

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Decorating I’ve already covered Christmas Tree decorations, so I won’t be covering that here. If you missed it, go back to Part One and start over. Stop skipping around. These are rules, not suggestions. Today I want to talk about decorating for Christmas. This is something that I accept as a very personal matter, so I’m much more loose about this aspect of Christmas. To each his own, as they say. I don’t care much how you decide to decorate your home for Christmas. This is how I choose to...

Twelve Days of Christmas : Day Three

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Exterior Illumination Just like Rusty, my father taught me everything I know about exterior illumination, which is absolutely nothing. My father is not a handy man and I inherited this lack of skill. We never had lights on the outside of our house, or in the trees, or any of that happy horseshit, and I for the most part, never did at my house either. I’ve toyed with the idea over the years, but it seems like a lot of work, for not a lot of reward, and then you have take them down. While my...

Twelve Days of Christmas : Day Two

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Christmas Music Is Awesome There are a lot of things I hate. There is a lot of music I hate. But I love Christmas Music. Sometimes, when I’m in my car alone, even in the middle of the summer, my iPhone will kick out a Christmas jam, and I just let it go. You know why? Because I love Christmas music. My wife will tolerate certain types of Christmas music only. And I’m not allowed to start before Thanksgiving and I rarely make it past Christmas Day. I don’t even get until New Year’s Day. There...

Twelve Days Of Christmas : Day One

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I fucking love Christmas. I do. I love everything about it. The carols, the decorations, the weather, the movies and tv shows, giving gifts, the food, hell—sometimes—even the Church service. But I’m a traditionalist. And by that I mean, I like Christmas the way it was when I was a kid. I like an old fashioned Christmas with all the trimmings. Let me explain. There are rules, so let me start with rule number one. The Christmas Tree. A fake Christmas tree has about as much likelihood of making...

Lie To Me

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I wrote the following piece almost ten years ago. It says as much about who I was then as it does about the changes in the world since then. I was raised with the firm belief that honesty was a thing to be valued. Telling the truth was the most important thing a man could do. It was, in fact, what separated the good people from the bad, the honorable from the dishonorable. But over the course of the last 38 years, I’ve begun to change my mind. The truth, I have discovered, is highly...

You’re No Athlete

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There is nothing funnier in the world than seeing a grown man pretending to be a professional athlete. You’ve seen them. Pushing 40. Beginnings of a pot belly. Wearing the jersey with someone else’s name on the back. Like any minute they’re going to get the call, “Jimmy, we need you!” The reality is that fans of the Big Four: Football, Baseball, Basketball and Hockey are the least offensive. Generally, they simply wear a jersey, albeit with no pads or helmet. Even run of the mill fans wear a...

A Proper Barbershop

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There’s no better feeling in the world than walking out of a proper barbershop having just had a wonderful experience and looking and feeling your best. It’s transcendent. It’s a wonderful experience—when done right anyway. The problem, for me, is I hate taking the time necessary to get a haircut, let alone a shave. I have to stop what I’m doing, drive to the barber, potentially wait as much as an hour or more, just for the opportunity to get my 20 minute haircut. I don’t enjoy the community of...

Home For The Holidays

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Everyone wants to be home for the holidays, even if only in our dreams, or so says the old carol. Thanksgiving and Christmas are especially difficult times to be away from home. Our thoughts are packed with memories and emotions that at times, quite literally, define who we are, and where we come from, or at the very least say a lot about what we wish were true. Nostalgia is defined by the dictionary as “a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place...

Often Wrong, But Never In Doubt.

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by David Todd McCarty | Friday, November 20, 2015 We have a saying in the McCarty family: Often wrong, but never in doubt.  No one has ever accused a McCarty of not having a strong opinion. Even in the face of insurmountable odds, we’re sure we’re going the right way, have the right tools for the job, and understand clearly how to achieve the goal at hand. That’s not to say we haven’t ended up at the bottom of a cliff, or on the wrong side of the barrel of a gun in the course of our efforts...

The 11 Worst People In America

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We love lists in this country. We like to make them. We like to read them. If this wasn’t true click-farms like BuzzFeed and Huffington Post wouldn’t post so damn many of them. The lists don’t actually have to be that good because it’s all about the headline. If you click on the headline, they get paid. They don’t really give a shit if you read it or not. Actually that’s not true. They want you to forward to a friend with the phrase, “I can’t stop laughing.” These are a...

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