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Walk A Mile. Check My phone.

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
November 15, 2015
4 Min read
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I recently purchased a Fitbit, a wristband computer that records your steps, heart rate, etc. If records a ridiculous amount of information and displays it all in these cool graphics on your phone. Nothing like a little mild OCD to help motivate you to lose weight. Walk a mile. Check your phone. Climb the stairs. Check your phone. It records how you sleep. How many steps you take throughout the day. How many flights of stairs you climb. Your heart rate, both resting and active. It also keeps...

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How I Gained The Weight 

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
November 13, 2015
9 Min read
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Everyone will tell you how they lost the weight. They can’t wait to tell you how they lost the weight. But no one tells you how they gained the weight. I’m sure it’s no mystery. Eat shitty. Sedentary lifestyle. Booze. Well, this is my story. I went to the doctor recently to make sure I wasn’t dying. So far so good, but they’re still going to do some tests. One involves sticking something down my throat. The other involves sticking something up my ass. Maybe they’ll meet in the...

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A Little Slice Of Heaven

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
November 5, 2015
6 Min read
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There is nothing more satisfying, more perfect, or even more mystifying, than a perfect slice of pizza. When done properly, pizza contains the perfect blend of chewy textures, combined with salty, acidic and smokey flavors, all in a food you can eat with your hands. And it’s cheap! However, finding that perfect slice is much more daunting than you’d think. It’s such a simple food, with only a few ingredients, that you would think it wouldn’t be so hard to find, but if you really believe that...

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In Praise of Subtlety 

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
November 3, 2015
6 Min read
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We live in a loud world. The music. The traffic. The colors. The entertainment. The styles. The music. It’s all deafening. Kanye and Kardashians. Big egos and asses. Poster children for the era we currently find ourselves in. All hype. No humility. Even the written word seems to have gotten loud. John Stewart doesn’t make a joke. He destroys. Obama doesn’t make a point. He annihilates the Republicans. She’s not pretty, she’s stunning. You didn’t find something amusing, you can’t stop...

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Why Your Children Are Up Your Ass

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
November 2, 2015
8 Min read
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“Our kids don’t really know how to play independently, seldom get lost in their imaginations, and are always two feet away from us. It drives us nuts. You’d think we spoiled them rotten but it sure doesn’t seem like we did. I’ve written about this as a cultural phenomenon of “narrowing worlds and great expectations” for parents but I can’t believe everyone struggles with this to the same extent as us. If you do, let me know! I don’t remember...

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Halloween Is Not for Everyone 

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
October 29, 2015
5 Min read
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“It’s almost that time of year when underaged kids get into costume and traipse around the neighborhood ringing doorbells and begging for treats.” When it comes to Halloween, I believe the world is split into two groups: those who love Halloween, and those who think it’s a pointless waste of time and money spent trying to recapture your youth and somehow simultaneously dressing like pimps and whores. I’m in the second group. I haven’t liked Halloween since the fifth grade or so. I’m...

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Nothing’s ever the same as it was

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
October 19, 2015
4 Min read
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Nostalgia (n). 1. A sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically for a period or place with happy personal associations. When looking through old photographs, we often say things like, “Look at this picture of me from when I was younger.” But as my wife would tell you, all pictures are from when we were younger. Time marches on and nothing ever stays the same. Nostalgia is more emotion than truth. We look back through rose-colored lenses at a time when we believe things were...

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A Fire In The Fireplace 

By David Todd McCarty
In Inspiration
October 15, 2015
5 Min read
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by David Todd McCarty | Thursday, October 15, 2015
 
My wife Jane thinks it’s silly to talk about having a fire in the fireplace.
“Where else would you light a fire? The sink?” she’ll say.
I guess she has a point, but it sounds strange to simply say, “I think I’ll start a fire” then walk into the other room.
I grew up with a fireplace and I have one today. It’s glorious.

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Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats 

By David Todd McCarty
In Inspiration
October 9, 2015
3 Min read
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Nathaniel Rateliff and the Night Sweats. It was the second time I’d heard the song, but the first time I didn’t look up who it was. I was on my way to get a haircut in my rental car, so I was listening to the old fashioned radio instead of satellite. It was a local alt rock station, which to some is still just corporate rock, but I’m almost fifty years old, so it’s often all new to me. At first listen, it seemed like a strange style of song to be on this station. Kind of bluegrass, a little...

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It’s Scarf Season Motherfuckers

By David Todd McCarty
In Essay
October 6, 2015
5 Min read
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It’s scarf season motherfuckers. That’s right. I’m breaking out my scarves and there’s nothing you can do about it. Black ones, grey ones, yellow ones. Linen, wool, cotton. Long, wide, frayed, infinite loop, keffiyeh. I’ve got em all. And yet, I just bought two more. I’ve always said that fat men love scarves, but that’s probably not even accurate. A lot of fat men are constantly hot, so maybe a scarf is not the thing for them. What I should say is that this fat man loves scarves, and really...

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